Somatic, Trauma-Informed Couples Therapy and Relationship Counseling
In person in the Hudson Valley, Kingston, NY and online throughout New York State.
This is for you if:
You and your partner keep having the same fight, and neither of you knows how to get off the merry-go-round
You've grown apart after years of careers, kids, or caregiving, and you want to feel like partners again
Trust has been broken, and you both want to understand what happened and rebuild
One of you wants to work on the relationship and the other is unsure, and you need a place to sort that out honestly
You're thinking about separation or divorce and want to make that decision clearly, not in the middle of a crisis
You're divorcing or already separated and want to co-parent with less conflict and more respect
You're in a relationship that leaves you feeling controlled, criticized, or walking on eggshells, and you're starting to wonder if it's narcissistic
You keep repeating the same patterns from one relationship to the next and want to understand why
You lose yourself in relationships, overgive, or struggle to say what you need
You're newly committed, engaged, or blending a family, and you want a strong foundation from the start
You're an LGBTQ+ or non-traditional couple looking for a therapist who understands and affirms your relationship
My Approach:
I'm Andrea Quast-Mortello, LCSW, SEP, a licensed couples and relationship therapist serving Kingston, the greater Hudson Valley, and throughout New York online. For 20 years I've helped couples and individuals understand the patterns driving their conflict and build relationships that feel safe, honest, and alive.
Our work together isn't only about better communication skills and processing your reality (that is part of it, though). We also look at what's happening in your bodies and nervous systems during conflict, how your family-of-origin history shapes the way you love, and what each of you needs to feel secure.
“Andrea worked with me on my issues around codependency: regulating thoughts and emotions, somatic work and developing interdependence. Eventually this work led to couple’s therapy.
My husband worked with Andrea to identify and correct unhealthy patterns in our relationship and develop new ways of relating to each other and communicating in positive ways.
One essential aspect of our work was to understand that problems with emotional regulation, boundaries, and communication would occur. Andrea taught us what to do when these situations arose.
She truly helped us in healing our relationship.”
Ways of Working with me:
Couples Counseling. For partners who want to stop fighting, reconnect, rebuild trust, or strengthen what's already working. Married, unmarried, LGBTQ+, and non-traditional couples are all welcome.
Individual Relationship Therapy. You don't need your partner in the room to change the relationship. I work one-on-one with people who want to understand their patterns, set boundaries, or heal from codependency.
Divorce and Separation Counseling. Support for getting through the end of a relationship, co-parenting with less conflict, and rebuilding your sense of self afterward.
Leaving Narcissistic and Controlling Relationships. Specialized support for men and women recognizing emotional manipulation, finding the courage to leave, and recovering from the confusion and self-doubt it leaves behind.
Modalities I work with in couples and relationship therapy:
My approach draws on proven relational and body-based methods, including:
Relational Life Therapy (RLT): a direct, practical couples therapy model that helps partners move from blame to accountability and real intimacy
Somatic Experiencing: helps your nervous system come out of fight, flight, or shutdown so you can stay present during hard conversations
Family-of-origin and inner child work: uncovers the early experiences shaping how you love today
Relational skill building: gives you concrete tools for communication, boundaries, and repair
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy in Kingston, NY
How do I know if we need couples therapy?
If you keep having the same arguments, feel more distant than connected, or avoid certain conversations altogether, couples therapy can help. You don't need to be in crisis to start. Many couples come in because they want to catch problems early and feel close again.
Is it ever too late for couples therapy?
Even couples who feel stuck for years can make real change when both partners are willing to look at their part. And if it turns out the relationship can't continue, therapy can help you end it with more clarity and less damage.
What happens in the first session?
We'll talk about what brought you in, what each of you hopes will change, and the history of your relationship. I'll also share my first impressions and how I think we can work together. Most couples leave the first session feeling heard and clearer about the next steps.
Do both partners need to come to therapy?
Couples sessions work best when both partners take part, but you can start on your own. Individual relationship therapy can shift the whole dynamic, because when one person changes how they show up, the relationship changes too.
What if my partner doesn't want to go?
That's common. You're welcome to begin individually, and some partners decide to join later once they see it's a safe, non-blaming space. We can also talk about how to invite your partner in a way that feels less threatening.
Will you take sides?
No. My job is to support the relationship and help each of you take responsibility for your part. I'll be direct with both of you, and I won't make either of you the villain.
How long does couples therapy take?
It depends on what you're working through. Some couples notice shifts within a few sessions, while deeper patterns or trust issues take longer. We'll set goals together and check in on progress along the way.
How long are sessions?
What is Relational Life Therapy?
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a couples therapy approach created by Terry Real. It's direct and practical, and it helps partners move out of blame and power struggles toward accountability, repair, and real intimacy.
What does somatic couples therapy mean?
Somatic therapy pays attention to what's happening in your body during conflict, like a racing heart, a tight chest, or the urge to shut down. When you learn to calm your nervous system, you can stay present and connected even in hard conversations.
Can you help if we're thinking about separation or divorce?
Yes. Therapy can help you decide clearly whether to stay or part ways, and if you separate, it can help you co-parent and move forward with less conflict.
Do you work with people leaving narcissistic or controlling relationships?
Yes. I help people recognize patterns of manipulation and control, find the courage to leave, and rebuild trust in themselves afterward. This work is available for both men and women.
Do you work with LGBTQ+ couples?
Yes. My practice is LGBTQ+ and non-binary affirming, and all relationship structures are welcome.
Where is your office?
My office is in Kingston, NY. I see clients from across the Hudson Valley, including Woodstock, Saugerties, New Paltz, Rhinebeck, and Hudson.
Do you offer online couples therapy?
Yes. I offer secure telehealth sessions for couples and individuals anywhere in New York State. Online therapy works well for busy schedules, couples in different locations, or anyone who prefers to do this work from home.
How much does couples therapy cost?
Do you take insurance?
Is couples therapy confidential?
Yes. What you share in therapy stays private, within the limits set by law, which I'll explain in our first session.
How do I get started?
Book a free consultation. We'll talk briefly about what's going on, answer your questions, and see if we're a good fit before you commit to anything.